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Post by limebirdwriters on Nov 6, 2012 9:30:42 GMT
“Hey, Shara! The Gorgon is about to lift off!” It was Granddad Dennis calling me, I’d been under my VR Hood scrolling through all the specs of the launch, but he wanted me with him when the ship actually took off. “I know Granddad, I’m coming!” I ripped the hood off and ran through from my room, Granddad was there on the couch with a space reserved for me next to him. I sat down just in time for the final countdown. “ 10” I held Granddad’s hand and looked over at him, his eyes were fixed on the screen, shining with, what I thought were tears. “ 9” On the screen billows of exhaust fumes were rising around the base of the gigantic lifting body. “ 8” Granddad squeezed my hand “I can’t believe it,” he whispered, “I’ve actually lived long enough.” “ 7” My heart was pounding, I’d seen plenty of launches before, but this was different, this was taking the main drive of the Hermes up to Earth Station to begin construction of the starship. “ 6” Everything around me disappeared, all I could see was the screen and the ship. I wondered what it felt like to be lying in a g-couch onboard a rocket as the power builds up below. “ 5” The gantry fell away and the view shifted to a distant camera, showing the stretch of Spaceport One with the massive ship poised to go. “ 4 … 3 … All systems nominal … 1 … We have lift off on the initial stage of Earth’s first mission to another star.” (Do you like how I got myself in on the second line? ) Awesome that you got yourself in there Dennis! I also really like the countdown, it really adds the pressure onto it!
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Post by limebirdwriters on Nov 6, 2012 9:32:24 GMT
These are all great openers! The books they represent might hold different places on my shelf, but they're all pretty compelling. I suck at openers, personally. That's an aspect I always have to work hard on when I do my edits. This year, I'm doing a setup with my villains first (because I think action stories should start with the villains), then moving on to my heroes in the next chapter. Pardon the language, but this is something of a military story... <em>When his CO had come to him with datapad in hand, with that s***-eating grin on his face, Sirk should have known something was sketchy.</em> Love it Mayumi!
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Post by hab318princess on Nov 7, 2012 20:47:01 GMT
“How are you feeling?” “Will Derby be boring after a year abroad?” “How do you react to the kiss and tell story?” “Will you sue Miss Lederer?” “What do you say to the accusation that…?”
My novel's called Love in all the right places... and the above is press shouting at one of my protagonists Prince Arthur
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Post by limebirdwriters on Nov 8, 2012 9:48:36 GMT
“How are you feeling?” “Will Derby be boring after a year abroad?” “How do you react to the kiss and tell story?” “Will you sue Miss Lederer?” “What do you say to the accusation that…?” My novel's called Love in all the right places... and the above is press shouting at one of my protagonists Prince Arthur Ohh gosh, I can feel the tension here and imagine how I would be feeling if I was Prince Arthur! Great job Wiebke
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munsi
Junior Limebird Member
Posts: 23
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Post by munsi on Nov 8, 2012 11:34:50 GMT
How have I not posted in this one yet?
"Once upon a time... are the first four words of this story."
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Post by yrdeni on Nov 8, 2012 13:14:47 GMT
How have I not posted in this one yet? "Once upon a time... are the first four words of this story." Hehe, very good, Munsi ;D You should use this for the end: "The last two words of this story are... The End."?
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Post by limebirdwriters on Nov 8, 2012 14:58:31 GMT
How have I not posted in this one yet? "Once upon a time... are the first four words of this story." Haha, awesome Munsi! What genre is yours?
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Post by 4amWriter on Nov 9, 2012 0:32:51 GMT
“How are you feeling?” “Will Derby be boring after a year abroad?” “How do you react to the kiss and tell story?” “Will you sue Miss Lederer?” “What do you say to the accusation that…?” My novel's called Love in all the right places... and the above is press shouting at one of my protagonists Prince Arthur Ohh gosh, I can feel the tension here and imagine how I would be feeling if I was Prince Arthur! Great job Wiebke Yes! Me too! I really like the barrage of questions.
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Post by 4amWriter on Nov 9, 2012 0:35:06 GMT
How have I not posted in this one yet? "Once upon a time... are the first four words of this story." Hehe, very good, Munsi ;D You should use this for the end: "The last two words of this story are... The End."? sounds like a winner to me!
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Post by ottabelle on Nov 9, 2012 0:59:47 GMT
I could go back and quote everyone, but I'm lazy and so I won't be doing that. Seems like a lot of fun ideas spinning around in our little heads. Kate- There should be I noticed a few of us didn't just post -the- very first sentence. But I didn't want to be a naughty girl, so I followed the rules! What genre is everyone doing? I don't exactly know what to call mine, so I say slice of life.
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Post by limebirdwriters on Nov 9, 2012 9:44:22 GMT
Hmm what genre. I guess mine is classified as YA, but it's aimed at 9-12 year olds. It's an children's adventure story. Anyone got any ideas?
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Post by dennismlane on Nov 9, 2012 9:50:16 GMT
“Hey, Shara! The Gorgon is about to lift off!” It was Granddad Dennis calling me, I’d been under my VR Hood scrolling through all the specs of the launch, but he wanted me with him when the ship actually took off. “I know Granddad, I’m coming!” I ripped the hood off and ran through from my room, Granddad was there on the couch with a space reserved for me next to him. I sat down just in time for the final countdown. “ 10” I held Granddad’s hand and looked over at him, his eyes were fixed on the screen, shining with, what I thought were tears. “ 9” On the screen billows of exhaust fumes were rising around the base of the gigantic lifting body. “ 8” Granddad squeezed my hand “I can’t believe it,” he whispered, “I’ve actually lived long enough.” “ 7” My heart was pounding, I’d seen plenty of launches before, but this was different, this was taking the main drive of the Hermes up to Earth Station to begin construction of the starship. “ 6” Everything around me disappeared, all I could see was the screen and the ship. I wondered what it felt like to be lying in a g-couch onboard a rocket as the power builds up below. “ 5” The gantry fell away and the view shifted to a distant camera, showing the stretch of Spaceport One with the massive ship poised to go. “ 4 … 3 … All systems nominal … 1 … We have lift off on the initial stage of Earth’s first mission to another star.” (Do you like how I got myself in on the second line? ) Awesome that you got yourself in there Dennis! I also really like the countdown, it really adds the pressure onto it! Thanks! Now that I think about it, this Granddad Dennis (the future me) is probably the same future me that appears in "Leaping" (although I changed my name to Danny for that poem...) the first three verses are me and I would love the rest to be me!) www.terrandreamarchive.com/#/peering-into-the-dark-blog/4564496797/Science-Fiction-Poetry---Leaping/3459277
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Post by dennismlane on Nov 9, 2012 9:53:21 GMT
How have I not posted in this one yet? "Once upon a time... are the first four words of this story." LOL Munsi, great start. Just by chance I did the same with my 2010 NaNoNovel... "Wata rana shekaru aru-aru da suka wuce…" That is how my father always began stories, which, very roughly translated from the Hausa, means "once upon a time."
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Post by 4amWriter on Nov 9, 2012 15:36:06 GMT
Hmm what genre. I guess mine is classified as YA, but it's aimed at 9-12 year olds. It's an children's adventure story. Anyone got any ideas? Actually, Beth, that would be considered Middle Grade fiction--and then a subheader of Action/Adventure. So basically Middle Grade Action/Adventure.
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Post by limebirdwriters on Nov 9, 2012 17:13:41 GMT
Hmm what genre. I guess mine is classified as YA, but it's aimed at 9-12 year olds. It's an children's adventure story. Anyone got any ideas? Actually, Beth, that would be considered Middle Grade fiction--and then a subheader of Action/Adventure. So basically Middle Grade Action/Adventure. huzzah! But then my question is, what is that in the UK? We don't have middle grade here. Up to the age of 10 you are in Primary School, then between 11 and 16 you're in secondary school...
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