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Post by limebirdwriters on Nov 15, 2011 10:30:34 GMT
Hello all,
I know this is still technically NaNoWriMo, but it's a novel too. So, my novel I'm writing is called 'Written In Pencil' and many people have been asking me why.
I'm going to share with you an extract which explains it. Enjoy.
"The memory ended and Ava came out, feeling a mish mash of emotions. Exhausted from the sheer concentration needed to take all of the information from the memory, Ava breathed out slowly and leant back on the sofa. Sleepily her mum opened her eyes. “Did you get everything you needed baby?” “Yeah Mum, I did.”
Rose looked back at her daughter and smiled, which then turned serious: “I know sometimes I’m hard to get along with, but I don’t know what happens to my memory some of the time. My brain feels like...you know when something is written in pencil and you rub it out? Then when you look back at it you can still see the indents of the words but you can’t see them properly?” Ava nodded.
“That’s what it feels like. I can see the memories are there, but I can’t quite get to them. I can remember some things like exactly how you smelt when you were born and they gave you back to me, fresh and of soap” she smiled at the memory, “but I sometimes struggle to remember what I had for breakfast. Ava you have to understand that I would have never done this if I’d have known what was going to happen."
"I thought he was the nicest man and he was just trying to help, but he just used me. He just used me." Ava looked back at her mum and could see the sadness in her eyes.
“It’s OK Mum, I know you were only doing what was best for us. I see that now. I can also understand a bit more about what I can do. I don’t feel as alone now because I have a reason.” “Like you always said to me, every single thing happens for a reason. I know that now. There must be a reason why I can do this, I know it.”
“Mum, I’m going to make you better, I promise”.
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Post by 4amWriter on Nov 22, 2011 9:51:03 GMT
Very nice! Is this your opening? What genre is it? I definitely sense the intrigue and I want to know what is wrong!
Good job.
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Post by limebirdwriters on Nov 22, 2011 10:34:09 GMT
Very nice! Is this your opening? What genre is it? I definitely sense the intrigue and I want to know what is wrong! Good job. Hi Kate, Thank you! No, this isn't my opening at the moment. Do you think it should be? I'm always open to advice!  Um, I wasn't entirely sure how to place it so I just put it in Mainstream Fiction for now. I've got romance elements, family, friendships but also fantasy so I'm not sure. I'd love to see an extract from your NaNo novel! |
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Post by ottabelle on Dec 4, 2011 7:06:32 GMT
Oh, this sounds nice! Very intriguing. I'd love to see more! And I do think it would make a nice opening, maybe as a flashback if you didn't want to start right there.
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Post by limebirdwriters on Dec 5, 2011 9:26:19 GMT
Oh, this sounds nice! Very intriguing. I'd love to see more! And I do think it would make a nice opening, maybe as a flashback if you didn't want to start right there. I'll be sure to post more once it's all edited and proof read as it's very rough at the moment! Do you? Hmm, maybe I'll have to add it in as the beginning. Currently my beginning is my protagonist's mum holding the protagonist in her arms, after just being born. Thanks for the help guys! |
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Post by ottabelle on Dec 6, 2011 0:41:37 GMT
Rough is fine, isn't it? I don't mind a few typos. I actually learned from this site I made mistakes through every time I wrote dialogue. I would mainly use a period instead of comma and I never noticed in books that it was a comma used instead of a period! I guess it isn't a major mistake and any editor would have caught it. I just hate mistakes. I supposed you feel the same way, since you don't want to post, though. Beginning at birth would be interesting as well. Why did you choose that? What happens, exactly? |
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Post by limebirdwriters on Dec 6, 2011 9:26:26 GMT
Rough is fine, isn't it? I don't mind a few typos. I actually learned from this site I made mistakes through every time I wrote dialogue. I would mainly use a period instead of comma and I never noticed in books that it was a comma used instead of a period! I guess it isn't a major mistake and any editor would have caught it. I just hate mistakes. I supposed you feel the same way, since you don't want to post, though. Beginning at birth would be interesting as well. Why did you choose that? What happens, exactly? Oh yes, definitely. I really need to get round to reading through it again, but I simply don't know where to start! Well, I'm glad that we could help! How do you mean? If you mean, I don't want to post bits of my story, I would say yes at the moment! Haha! Some of it doesn't make sense at all and I am the biggest perfectionist. I promise I will put it up once it has been looked it! Also, I started with the birth scene (not actually giving birth, just after) because one of the main themes throughout is the mum's choices and how they have affected her daughter. It's also a lot about their relationship, so I liked having their first moments together at the beginning! |
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Post by ottabelle on Dec 7, 2011 1:28:16 GMT
Yes, haha. I meant you weren't ready to post the bits of your story. I understand that feeling!
That's a very deep theme. Our parent's choices do impact us, much more than I think that our parent's want to believe sometimes. (My parents at least, and parents in my family, and parents of my friends. Basically, I'm saying the parents I've seen. ;])
That is a good way to start, maybe that would be the best way to start to keep with your core theme. The flashback can be incorporated at any time. Perhaps when the daughter is introduced at the age she will be for the rest of the story?
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Post by limebirdwriters on Dec 7, 2011 10:07:56 GMT
Yes, they are very rough at the moment and I know I can write better! Haha! Yes definitely. Especially as mine has a kind of magical theme too, where the mum's choices mean that she's slowly dying and her daughter has developed the ability to see people's memories. It's all very strange. I could do. I have her as a child and then as she turns into an adult, so I'm still swapping scenes around. I really need to get editing, but I just haven't had the time yet!  |
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Post by 4amWriter on Dec 7, 2011 10:51:37 GMT
I'm enjoying learning the bits and pieces as you talk about your novel, Beth. I'm a sucker for tragic beginnings, or at least dramatic, edge of the seat beginnings. I think that's why I wondered if the section you posted was part of your beginning.
So, question. If the opening scene that you plan to have is of the mom holding the protag, whose POV is that in? Are you doing a multiple POV? Or is this one of the moments that the protag is seeing, a memory of her mother's?
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Post by limebirdwriters on Dec 7, 2011 11:10:45 GMT
I'm enjoying learning the bits and pieces as you talk about your novel, Beth. I'm a sucker for tragic beginnings, or at least dramatic, edge of the seat beginnings. I think that's why I wondered if the section you posted was part of your beginning. So, question. If the opening scene that you plan to have is of the mom holding the protag, whose POV is that in? Are you doing a multiple POV? Or is this one of the moments that the protag is seeing, a memory of her mother's? Haha, that last bit made my brain all confused! It is currently mum holding protag from mum's POV. OK, well here it is in it's whole rough glory. This isn't how it's going to be by the way, this is just what I wrote for NaNo! "From the moment Rose held the small, pink bundle of fingers, toes and dark hair in her arms, she was in love. Defying all the odds to bring this child into the world, she knew that she had made the right choice. This little 4lb 1oz bundle of joy was born too early and Rose couldn’t avoid the pang of guilt which rose inside her, reminding her that it could have had something to do with the procedure. Exhausted and shaking the thought out of her mind, she started to reminisce about the moment she knew she could do this. Her daughter held onto her finger and Rose was sure she saw a smile, but she must have been imagining it. Out loud as if reaffirming it to herself, she looked down at her daughter. “I will always look after you, my Ava.” However now you've mentioned "Or is this one of the moments that the protag is seeing, a memory of her mother's?" now I'm thinking that could be possible. Hmmmm. *strokes imaginary beard* |
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Post by ottabelle on Dec 8, 2011 2:46:18 GMT
However now you've mentioned "Or is this one of the moments that the protag is seeing, a memory of her mother's?" now I'm thinking that could be possible. Hmmmm. *strokes imaginary beard* That would be an interesting scene. And the beginning was interesting. I have many more questions now about your world, and I know I'm just going to have to wait. Thanks.  I hate waiting. |
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Post by limebirdwriters on Dec 8, 2011 9:08:38 GMT
However now you've mentioned "Or is this one of the moments that the protag is seeing, a memory of her mother's?" now I'm thinking that could be possible. Hmmmm. *strokes imaginary beard* That would be an interesting scene. And the beginning was interesting. I have many more questions now about your world, and I know I'm just going to have to wait. Thanks. I hate waiting. Haha! No, ask away! |
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Post by ottabelle on Dec 8, 2011 10:09:44 GMT
What odds, what procedure, what choice?  I'm wondering if she tried to have an abortion and it failed? That was the first thing that I thought of. |
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Post by 4amWriter on Dec 8, 2011 10:43:26 GMT
What odds, what procedure, what choice? I'm wondering if she tried to have an abortion and it failed? That was the first thing that I thought of. Yes, me too. Those are all questions I had right away. |
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