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Post by loupy on Jan 25, 2012 3:35:49 GMT
Deep breath. Ok .. here is a script that my husband and I wrote together and won 3rd place in a contest with. I thought I'd share it here. I have issues with parts of it but... it's done and we did get 3rd place which was a lot better than we were hoping for. The contest was this -- we were given only 24 hours to write 5 pages that included the following: an architect, genre was to be sci-fi, and there had to be a deadline. So with those restrictions in place we wrote "Nick of Time". It's not perfect, and honestly we wrote it in about 3 hours because of some other stuff going on that day so... there you have it! Just a warning, there is a bit of bad language, and it's kinda gorey and probably in bad taste, so um.... click at your own risk! docs.google.com/open?id=1Sv5ytrnsMHggeaU2k6zu2qwxCIWHWcMnRlD6QssIIVWXwbqCy9_U_5_ZnitY |
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Post by loupy on Jan 25, 2012 3:37:52 GMT
SO for anyone who actually reads that (Thank you) my major beef with it is what Nick goes home to do after being shot down - I'd like to have built up showing more misery in his life that led to that other than not getting the cheerleader he wanted, but there wasn't room for that.
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Post by ottabelle on Jan 25, 2012 3:45:22 GMT
Ohhh. It's going on my list of things to read. Along with everything else on this site. -,-;;
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Post by limebirdwriters on Jan 25, 2012 10:22:58 GMT
Hi Laura, I've just read it. I really enjoyed it! I loved the description at the beginning, it really gave me a picture of the characters. I do see what you mean about what he goes to his room to do. It is difficult in a small space of time.. maybe you could add something like "this was the last straw after the build up of..." etc. I dunno, you could maybe just hint to previous problems. haha. Can you tell I'm rubbish at story structure? However, my forté is proofreading so I'm going to go with that! Just a few small typos! - I noticed that *trance is missing the c in the first description - Nick breaks of and stares at the ground, apparently flustered. (missing f ) Awesome!  |
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Post by 4amWriter on Jan 25, 2012 10:28:45 GMT
I just read it and it is so good! I really mean that. For writing something in 3 hours, you got all the major elements-goal, problem, what's at stake--really good. Now mind you, I don't know a thing about screenwriting but I thought this was well-done. I love the humor (wet dream about the Golden Girls) and I love the idea of future Nick returning to the present to undo the future which is actually his present. Am I making sense? I also thought it was clever to have the mole as an identifying characteristic and you did such a nice job using dialogue for Nick in both the present and future that it was easy to tell the difference between the two. Nice job and congrats on 3rd place. You definitely have a talent! |
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Post by loupy on Jan 26, 2012 6:04:00 GMT
Thanks you two! Beth - I can't believe I missed those typos! I've read that thing about a dozen times by now. Thank you  Kate - Thanks for your kind comments! I can't take all the credit since my husband worked on it too (wait what am I saying, I'm the woman of course I can take all the credit mwuahahahaha!) Screenwriting is really fun. It's almost like the opposite of normal novel writing (there is a word for that that I can't think of) It's almost bare bones, not too much description , but enough for the actors and directors to go on. Everything has to be in present tense. Pages have to be laid out exactly right or you wont' get anyone to read them. It's a lot of fun but it's very specific ( I alwasy end up having to remove about a dozen "had" and replace them with "has" for instance) I'd just love to be a part of a writing team on a show (or with the husband as he is terribly clever and always comes up with the good stuff, like Golden Girl dreams  ) Anyway, thank you both so much!!! |
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JeffreyMilton
New Limebird Member
I'm not a bad devil, just a busy one. :-P
Posts: 13
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Post by JeffreyMilton on Feb 2, 2012 3:54:15 GMT
I really enjoyed reading your screenplay! As I mentioned in another thread, I'm going to participate in ScriptFrenzy this April. 100 pages in 30 days sounds easier than NaNoWriMo's 50,000 words in the same amount of time, but I know I'm kidding myself with that kind of logic. Writing anything like a script or a novel takes a lot of commitment! Yet, I committed myself to do it...maybe I should have myself committed for being crazy to do it.  I remember that you posted that you've already participated in ScriptFrenzy before, so I hope that you'll do it again this year! If you do, I'm Gersh on my profile. Ottabelle signed up and we're writing buddies, so please add me to your list of writing buddies too. Thanks for sharing and conrats on 3rd Place! |
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Post by loupy on Feb 6, 2012 4:44:57 GMT
Thank you Jeffrey!
I love writing screenplays, it's so much fun I think.
I'm gonna give it a go this year, last year I attempted it for a day but kinda lost steam, I'm really bad about doing that so I'm trying harder and harder to push myself to just write short stories, scripts, whatever, even if I don't have an idea. So hopefully this year I won't crap out 5 minutes into it!
My name on there is loupy2055 and I added you and Amber to my buddy list :-)
Now... to think of something to write. 100 page script would be around 100 minutes and I've never actually written a feature length film before, just a bunch of shorts and episode length scripts (around 22 pages) so this will be scary! but good, I have to write a feature when I get back into school anyway.
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Post by limebirdwriters on Feb 10, 2012 15:52:53 GMT
Ohh you guys rock for doing Script Frenzy! If I had any idea how to write a script I would give it a go, but I have absolutely no idea. haha. When does it start?
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JeffreyMilton
New Limebird Member
I'm not a bad devil, just a busy one. :-P
Posts: 13
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Post by JeffreyMilton on Feb 10, 2012 20:04:16 GMT
I've written only one script a loooooooooooong time ago. My idea for this one is very special to me. I'm glad that I've recovered from a computer system crash earlier this week. Thanks for suggesting Dropbox!! ;D ScriptFrenzy starts 1 April 12 and ends midnight of 30 April 12. Their forums help out beginning scriptwriters. There's also free software for doing just about any script, it's called Celtx. I believe there's another thread about it on the NaNoWriMo topic. The same nonprofit runs it. Their website is www.scriptfrenzy.org . Hope to see you there! |
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Post by loupy on Feb 11, 2012 8:11:18 GMT
Ohh you guys rock for doing Script Frenzy! If I had any idea how to write a script I would give it a go, but I have absolutely no idea. haha. When does it start? If you wanted to try and needed any help I wouldn't mind helping. The main thing to do would be to get a screenwriting software (Celtx is a free one that I use) and once you tinker around with it and get the hang of it it's really easy and it formats the scripts for you. And also everything has to be in present tense, no hads or dids or anything like that. |
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Post by limebirdwriters on Feb 13, 2012 10:33:30 GMT
I honestly wouldn't even know where to start....
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Post by ottabelle on Feb 15, 2012 2:03:38 GMT
Ohh you guys rock for doing Script Frenzy! If I had any idea how to write a script I would give it a go, but I have absolutely no idea. haha. When does it start? If you wanted to try and needed any help I wouldn't mind helping. The main thing to do would be to get a screenwriting software (Celtx is a free one that I use) and once you tinker around with it and get the hang of it it's really easy and it formats the scripts for you. And also everything has to be in present tense, no hads or dids or anything like that. Any other tips? |
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Post by loupy on Feb 15, 2012 3:52:31 GMT
If you wanted to try and needed any help I wouldn't mind helping. The main thing to do would be to get a screenwriting software (Celtx is a free one that I use) and once you tinker around with it and get the hang of it it's really easy and it formats the scripts for you. And also everything has to be in present tense, no hads or dids or anything like that. Any other tips? Sure Amber! Every word counts, the rough rule of thumb to a screenplay is that every page of script is 1 minute on the screen. It could be very easy to go overboard and write way too much and end up with a 4 hour film. Only write what you can see, if it can't be seen (or heard of course in the case of dialogue) it doens't need to be in the script -- Example - You can't write something like "Mary grabbed her keys from the table, like she has done for the last 30 years. She broke down crying thinking this was the last time she'd be grabbing her keys to walk out the door." -- you can't show she's grabbed her keys for 30 years, or what she's thinking, but if that is something really important to convey with your story you'd say something else along the lines of: Mary grabs her keys, the table they sit on is scuffed. MARY After 30 years, I don't even think about grabbing them anymore. Mary begins to cry as Tom comforts her. TOM
Do you need a minute?
MARY
I just can't believe I'll never walk out that door again.
I dunno, that was just a quick and random example that popped in my head. There is no descriptive backstory , unless you are showing something with a montage or listening to a voice over of someone describing something. Speaking of voice over, every professor will tell you they stink of "film student" and not to use them -- personally I don't know how I feel about that. Look at the Shawshank Redemption. Tell Morgan Freeman that voice over is amateur? I don't think so. It is something you want to do right though, if you go the route of voice over. I dunno, there is just a lot of random things really. Formatting is pretty specific, but if you get a software to format for you, you are pretty much golden there. If you have any questions about it though please ask, I can't promise to know, or be an expert but I can certainly try to help and certainly don't mind to |
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